Turning the Tables on Networking

Submitted by: , Communication Specialist , Performance Specialist SAGE Presenting

Networking -- It’s nobody’s favorite part of running their business. We don’t want to get sold to, we don’t want to be perceived as an overbearing salesperson ourselves, we don’t want to face a moment of not knowing what to say. We don’t want to be the “odd man out,” unable to find someone to talk to. There are any number of anxiety-producing reasons to choose to stay at the office.

But we do it–usually because we feel like we have to. We need to fish for business, right?

So we make sure we have our elevator pitch memorized, we grit our teeth, and we enter the event. Almost everyone looks to be paired off already, or involved in a group conversation. But we soldier forward and start bending the ears of anyone who will listen, hoping that each person will be directly in our market.

It’s not exactly the best approach, and as a result, it doesn’t produce the best results.

A better alternative starts in recognizing that you’re not the only person who dislikes this situation. Almost everyone else there is in exactly the same situation you’re in. The only difference is that they brought security – friends and co-workers to talk with to create the illusion of networking.

Once you recognize that, consider the possibility that you’re not there to sell, you’re there to help. The moment you do this, the pressure is off. You don’t need to entertain anyone, you don’t need to be a brilliant conversationalist, you don’t need to fill every moment with witty repartee, you’re just there to provide value to other people in the room.

Think what comes to you when you make this shift. Any anxiety you might have had about the thought of presenting yourself in a networking situation suddenly goes out the window. That anxiety is all about wondering what other people think of you. With this new redefinition, you don’t care if people like you, you care about what you can do for everyone else. So breaking into conversation is easier, because you’re not facing rejection. You’re not worried about getting your elevator pitch right. You’re focused on getting to know someone else. Ask what they do, what needs they have, what a perfect prospect is for them. You begin to really understand what they’re after, and you are authentically interested in hearing what they have to say. Businesses and people become fascinating as you really get into their struggles and successes and the people you talk to feel you know them personally and that leads to them introducing you to others.

The conversations you’ll experience will be fantastic. We all know that people love to talk about themselves, and can’t help but like people who authentically show interest in them. Once you learn enough about them, you’ll start to spot fits for them and then just imagine what happens. The people you help will remember you and perhaps even feel obligated to you in some way. And even if you don’t find anyone else a connection, they begin to associate you with trying to help them. It’s hard not to appreciate someone who keeps trying to find leads for you. They’re going to want to open their network up to you, which of course, is the name of the game.

Approaching networking from a helping perspective gives you a chance to connect with someone with a genuine, positive emotion. If you’re in it for them, you no longer need to be looking for their acceptance of you. Instead, you’re looking for the signs of their increasing comfort and excitement. You’re looking for signs that they are experiencing your appreciation of them and your interest in them. And this puts you in the power-position instead of the position of the hungry fisher. Suddenly networking becomes compatible with your value system, it becomes more fun, and, back to the original point, it starts to bring in business.

Pete Machalek holds a Bachelor’s degree in Speech & Communications from Gustavus Adolphus College and Master’s degree in Communication Study & Film Production from the University of Iowa. He’s been a manager involved in advertising and marketing, responsible for the creation, analysis, and measuring the effectiveness of advertisements and marketing pieces. Machalek has been a curriculum designer and a teacher, a writer and editor, filmmaker and critic. He produced and directed an Academy Awards semifinalist in 1991.
, Communication Specialist
SAGE Presenting
612.384.0763

Dean Hyers is an award-winning feature film director and performance specialist skilled in emotional management and authentic improvisation. He was formerly creative director and CEO of his own interactive marketing and promotions company, Digital Caf?, which was acquired by Campbell Mithun Esty, a major advertising agency, in 1998. Dean won Best Director and Best Feature Film in two prominent festivals with his debut feature film "Bill's Gun Shop," to be released by Warner Bros. Home Entertainment in 2006. Dean holds degrees in Fine Arts and Psychology from Gustavus Adolphus College.
, Performance Specialist
SAGE Presenting
651.226.6111